Monday, April 16, 2018

A to Z Blogging Challenge: N is for Never Living Up to Expectations #singlenessmyth#14

My A to Z Challenge is a blog about singleness.  Some myths, some thoughts, some of the things I have been learning as a 30 something year old single American woman, in a culture that sees this as something that is less than... join me on this journey! 

N is for Never Living up to Expectations.   #14:  Single people never live up to the expectations of their family. 

I'm taking this blog from the perspective of someone who doesn't necessarily feel this way, but has friends that do.  I have heard more than once from people that I love.... "Oh I can't wait till my son/daughter makes me a grandma one day." 

I cringe EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear this.  I cringe because I have parents that know what it is like to not be grandparents.  Sometimes things don't always go as planned.  Sometimes your kids don't have kids.  Sometimes your kids don't get married.  Is it okay to teach kids how to be mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles? Of course it is!  But is it okay to make that their only role in life?  Like if you never become a grandparent are they going to wonder if they have let you down? 

I hesitate to even write this post, because I think that sometimes we want to make excuses for our expectations.  It is cultural, or whatever excuse we have to make expectations of others. 

I am going to tell you this though.  Your kids... they may never get married, they may never have kids.  What are you going to do if they don't?  How would that change the way you parent them now, or would have parented them when they were younger? 

We put enough expectations on ourselves without having to live up to the expectations that others put on us too. 

How can expectations change your relationships with others? 

This post.... I think I just want to leave it there... something to think about.....  do we allow our kids to grow up knowing that they are worthy even without ever getting married or having kids? 


Marcy said...

I sincerely hope that my children know how proud I am of them and how much I love them, no matter what their marital or parental status is. There are many ways to be happy and bless the lives of others.

Anonymous said...

I have seen this attitude in people my age apologising for their children who havent had children or dare I say it remain single and it makes me feel a bit sad. surely it is ok to be whatever we are however we are and it is probably best if we dont place expectations upon our children or anyone for that matter. I have daughters and one in particular who is very sensitive about being single when all her other sisters have families. I dont quite know how to make her feel alright with this ...