Sunday, January 27, 2019

Book #5 of 2019.... The Finnish Way by Katja Pantzar

This is another book that I started last year and just didn't have the diligence to keep reading it at the time.  I am a very big believer in the face that if something isn't working at the time, it  might just mean that it is going to be for a different time in your life.  I needed this book right now!

This book seriously made me want to pack up and move to Finland!  It made me so jealous of the lifestyle.  So, I have been thinking about ways that I can incorporate parts of this lifestyle into my daily life.  The first thing I am going to do is try to have more Sisu.  Embracing challenges, small and big.  Open to trying new things and experiences beyond what I think my limits might be.  Practical solutions, ways to move forward, to build up fortitude and resilience!  I'm so excited for this new life that doesn't keep complaining when things don't go my way.  I am also not very good with sticking to things.  When I get in a situation that is hard I usually flee.  I'm making Sisu a part of me.

Part of that is going to be not being afraid of cold weather!  So, don't be worried if you see me outside in freezing temperatures!  It's good for me, I promise!


Some of the things I want to try from the book:

Cold Water Swimming
Sauna's
Going out in nature more when I am feeling crappy, instead of medicine
Nordic Diet (give me all the salmon)
Biking
Starting my day with exercise
More Movement, less medicine
Minimalism as a lifestyle


Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:


"but here in Finland, daily doses of nature seem to form part of nearly everyone's lexicon" -page 10

I know I don't spend enough time in nature.  I also know that when I do spend time in nature, I feel SO much better.  This is a part of the Finnish life I want to embrace completely!  

"Sisu is a way of life to actively transform the challenges that come  our way into opportunities."  -page 35

What if our whole culture was about transforming challenges into opportunities?  It would change everything.  Maybe part of a great life is taking the challenges and making them opportunities.  Everyday, every challenge!  

"Our sensory system was developed with nature in mind.  Living in a type of virtual reality without connection to earth is not good for human beings."  -page 56

We need to be out in nature!  We were never made to live in these boxes without being outside.  No matter what the weather is like, I am going to try to be outside for 10 minutes everyday and see what kind of difference it makes!  

"For me, the indelible marks come from the authentic experiences that lead me on a path back toward the natural world."  -page 83

I just love this quote and the picture that it makes in my mind.  Everything leads to being outside connected to nature, connected to something bigger than myself.  

"There, kids are allowed to be kids, play together, and have naps; they are not aggressively prepped academically."  -page 131

Everything about the school system in Finland is absolutely something that I wish we had.  Just focusing on the happiness of the kids, on how they connect with others.  If only that were what we focused on.  How many kid's lives would be saved if they were able to understand and learn in a safe environment.  Instead of academics being the main focus.  

"Kindergarten in Finland doesn't focus on preparing children for school academically.  Instead, the main goal is to make sure that all children are happy and responsible individuals."  -page 133

LOVE this so much!  Happy and responsible!  If only!  This is what we need!  Think about what that would mean if kids were growing up knowing and learning how to be happy and take responsibility!  Just think!  

"I seem to find my inner peace through movement and reading."  - page 159

Me too!  And crafts!  Definitely those 3 things!  

"Here I am accepted as, sometimes melancholy me."  page 161

This was one of the most interesting parts of the book.  To think that people aren't looked down on if they don't have a smile on their face.  It is okay to be melancholy sometimes.  Accepting others for whatever state they are in.  

"Opt for well-made, sustainably and ethically produced, functional items that will stand the test of time over several cheap, poor-quality, or unethically made products that will likely end up in a landfill."  -page 193

This is my new focus.  Not just buying things that are going to end up in a landfill.  Buying things that will last.  Buying only what I need.  

"Around the world we are literally drowning in a sea of stuff."  -page 199

No more stuff!  Stuff does not solve anything.  Less stuff = more happiness!  

"People come together without commercial gain in mind but rather for the common good of everyone." -page 204

I want this to be our culture.  For people to do things not to gain anything, but just because it helps someone else.  I want this so much for our world!  


This book has so many good things in it.  Now to implement some of them.  A little bit at a time!  




Saturday, January 19, 2019

Book #4 of 2019 How Dare the Sun Rise by Sandra Uwiringiyimana

I wasn't expecting the story that I read, or to feel everything that I felt as I read it.  Although all the books that I have read so far this year have had an impact on me, I will say that I think this one is going to be one of my top, even as I continue reading. 

I struggle with social media and people that I love because I feel like they do not understand the depth of pain and sacrifice that it takes for a refugee family to move to another place and start life over again.  Even for me that has lived in other countries, I was able to take all of my stuff, I had people that spoke my language on the airplane with me, and waiting for me when I landed.  I may have looked different from those in the country I found myself in, but I wasn't most of the time ridiculed or threatened because of it.  Harassment is different than being scared for my life. 

I feel like I could write forever about everything that I took from Sandra's story.  If you are reading this blog, please read her book. 

Some things that I will take away from this: 

*Even though I think I know a lot about refugees and their struggles, I don't.  I have never had to be a refugee, especially never a refugee in America.  I will never assume that I know what they are going through or have gone through. 

*When I meet someone that has gone through escaping a war, I am not going to ask them about the war, like it is some amazing event.  If they want to tell me, Great!  But if they don't then I am just going to be their friend, without needing to know all about their trauma. 

*People want to come to America because they see the glamour, and hear that America is perfect.  The poverty, the racism, the problems aren't what they think that they will find when they get here. 

*Sandra is one of the most amazing women we have in this world, in our country.  I am thankful to know her story, and hope that I am able to learn more. 

Some of the quotes from the book that impacted me: 

"It was part of an unfortunate culture, mainly in the villages, in which young men would kidnap a girl, rape her, and then marry her.  The rape is committed so that the girl is too ashamed to go back home, or so that her family won't ask for her back.  Hundreds, if not thousands, or girls have been married this way.  It is one of the reasons why I think my parents were so passionate about educating girls, so that we could learn that no one can take away our worth."  -page 39

If only every parent in every village was able to think this way.  If only men were brought up to see the worth of every woman.  It is time to make a change.  No matter the culture, rape should not be the norm.  

"I knew the sounds of war before I knew how to do a cartwheel."  -page 42

I can't even comprehend what it is like to be a child growing up in a war-torn land.  As Americans we press people to not come to this country because you might be a murderer.  But really?  There are kids growing up in war.  Their are kids, like Sandra that don't know security.  Wouldn't you do whatever you could to get your kids out of a war-torn land?  Wouldn't you?  

"I understood for the first time how it felt to experience real poverty.  To wash our clothes and clean the dishes, we would get water from a nearby pond.  But the pond was polluted, so my mom needed to boil the water.  For drinking water, sometimes Mom managed to get a jug of tap water from neighbors, or I would be dispatched to sit beneath a leaking pipe connected to another home.  The pipe was at the bottom of a hill, and I would walk down there and huddle with other poor people from the neighborhood, collecting drips of water.  There were a lot of desperate people waiting to get that water, including kids my age and mothers with babies.  Arguments would erupt.  It felt mortifying and also humbling to be among those people waiting for drips.  I realized there were so many people struggling to survive.  We were not the only ones."  -page 93

We complain so much about the small things that are "wrong" about our life.  How we suffer.  Yet this description reminds me that I know nothing of want or need.  I have always had food, clothing, shelter and safety.  I have never lived without water.  I have never even had to go anywhere to get water, except for when I was living overseas, but it was literally just a short walk away from my apartment, and I could have gotten someone to get it for me if I needed to.  I often complain about things going on in my life, but I truly should be thankful, because I know nothing of true hardship.  

"The idea of beauty in America was new to me, and it was troublesome.  The message I heard everywhere- from television, from people at school- was that I should exercise and eat healthy food so that I could stay skinny.  Back home in Congo, we didn't really think about body size.  Most people I knew were a healthy weight.  And being skinny was not something a child aspired to be.  I started to feel pressure to look like what America considered beautiful.  My dad helped me navigate the turmoil.  "

Until I read this part of the book, I didn't really understand how the American definition of beauty is so very different from the rest of the world.  We grow up imagining beauty and defining it by what we see on TV or in the movies, because that is what our culture has defined it as.  Weight, why are we so obsessed with it?  Perhaps because we have more than what we need.  In a world where you never want for anything, outside beauty seems to be what defines success and popularity.  


There were so many more quotes and thoughts I had as I read this book.  Mostly though I want to take her story to heart.  I don't want to every get stuck lumping people together, and thinking that the only thing that I need to pay attention to is what happens within the borders of my country.  There is SO much going on in the world.  So much pain, and hurt.  There are people here that need us to hear their stories.  Not just assume we know them.  To see past the images on TV.  I hope that I never see past people.  I hope that I can always look them in the eyes and take time to hear their truth, and let it change me. 


Friday, January 18, 2019

Book #3 of 2019.... One Day in December by Josie Silver

Romance seems like it is one of those words that brings up either really great memories, or really awful ones.  I have always been a skeptic of romance.  In my experience, most of the time I find that romance means so many different things for the man and the woman that it is hard to be "romanced" in the way that you really want to be. 

As I read this book, I became enthralled with the characters.  Wanting to fight so hard for who I wanted to be together, and not wanting their life to have the hardships that I saw coming. 

We are such scared creatures aren't we?  Afraid of love, afraid to break down the walls, because we are so unsure of the other person.  Are they going to break us past repair if we let them in? 

As I get older I think that I am wanting romance more and more.  Online dating has turned our culture into one that takes away any sort of romance.  People swipe right or left, and they think they know you well enough to be intimate with you.  But I find myself longing for a time when men and women didn't see each other as something to be won, but as something to be cherished, and guarded. 

This book brought romance back for me in this subtle, unexpected way. 

Such a great book! 

Monday, January 14, 2019

Book #2 of 2019.... White Awake by Daniel Hill

This book isn't for everyone, but I wish everyone would read it.  Especially every white person that I know, and even those I don't.  I think of myself in a pretty good place in regards to understanding those that are not white, especially those that feel like they are still fighting a battle that is beyond their control.  Then I read this book, and realized that I honestly have so much still to learn.  So journey with me, as I go through some of the things that I learned, and was made aware of while I read through this book.  I am still thinking over, and dealing with quite a bit of this book, so this is just a very beginning of some major changes in my thoughts, and how I look at race, being white, and my role in helping a country, and the world to heal and learn to love each other more. 

Most of my blogs, are me trying to understand life more, and most of the time is a way for me to work through things that I have read, and thoughts that I have.  So, I am not here today as an expert by any means, but I do urge you to pick up this book, and read it.  I think that you realize some of the things that I have, and maybe even a few more. 

"Shared my confusion about the claim that I was part of a larger white culture that dominates every other culture it comes in contact with." 

My first instinct in reading the above was to say... no we don't do that.  Do we?  Then thinking about my life, the places that I have lived, and what I have encountered...I think we very much do.  I think I especially found this to be true when I lived overseas.  In a lot of ways I was never taught to be quiet or sink back into the shadows.  Because I never had to.  I never had to worry that someone was going to judge me because of my race.  I was able to be whoever I wanted to be in every place that I was, except for one.  When I visited Vietnam, it was like this weird out of body experience.  I wasn't supposed to show my passport, I wasn't supposed to let anyone know that I was an American.  The opposite of what I had felt in most every other country I had visited.  I had to sink back, and lose a part of my identity.  I can't imagine having to be cautious of that for my whole life, yet that is the reality for a LOT of people in my country and around the world.  

"Why do you think rich white people need to come save us poor brown people." 

My first ever overseas "mission trip" was to India.  A place that I grew to love, a people  that opened my eyes so much.  I was a sophomore in college at the time.  That trip led to me wanting to be a "missionary."  I spent a year in Egypt, 3 years in Thailand, and went on various mission trips all under the guise of "saving" people.  I think that there are plenty of missionaries out there doing what they feel called to do and they are humble, kind people.  But I also feel like some of the American especially Christian American mentality is to go "save" those that are less fortunate than ourselves.  I'm glad that God opened my eyes to the way I was looking down on others just because I was born in a different place than they were.  It doesn't make me better, and it doesn't mean that I need to go "save" them.  Sure love them, help them, but my goal should never be to "save" them because I am so much better off then they are.  Especially not because of their skin color.  

"Culture consists of assumptions that we make; these assumptions are then transmitted from generation to generation." 

I am so glad that I had the opportunity to step outside of my culture.  I am not sure where I would be now if I hadn't been able to see people in a different way.  We grow up in a household, hearing what our parents think and believe.  Those thoughts at least most of them came from their parents, and those came from their parents.  We look at people and assume that we know them because of what we have been told or experienced.  I for one am so glad that everything people believe to be true about me is not because of some assumptions on their part.  That would really stink.  But we do it, every single day.  We allow things said to us to impact the way we treat those around us.  What an awful way to raise up each generation.  

"Many names are considered "normal" within white culture, and when a name is seen as weird or unusual, it's usually because the name doesn't fall within that standard." 

Oh, I could tell you so many stories of hearing "that's a weird name."  Especially when telling stories of my former students that I had overseas.  This point really struck home to me, as an example of the way that we normalize white culture, and hold it as the standard to every other race.  We make fun of names that don't fall within our "normal" white culture.  We ask people with skepticism where they come up with that name.  We don't stop to think, it is their normal.  Why do we just assume that our normal is the "right" normal?  The next time I hear a name and think about how weird it sounds on my ear, I am going to ask myself why that is.  Why do I just automatically say that anything that is not my culture is weird? 

I'm going to leave with one more quote.  This is not at all the end of my blogging about this, but I do have other things to get done today, and I find that if blogs are too long, no one reads them! 


"When the journey begins to feel like any combination of scary, confusing, disorienting, or even painful, we have a privilege that people of color do not:  we walk away; we can go back to "normal," if we choose." 

I've seen so many angry posts from my family and friends about being "privileged."  How they can't believe that anyone would even consider them privileged.  Let me tell you about a time that I was overseas.  I was about to board a plane.  In my memory I did not remember that the weekend before I had gone on a retreat with middle school students.  One of them had brought a cap gun on the retreat and I had confiscated it, thinking I would give it back to him at the end of the retreat.  Well fast forward to the airport.  That same back goes through security.  The security guard calls me over and asks me if I have a gun.  I say "no, of course not."  My friend is with me visiting from the states, and she is looking at me in a state of shock.  I look at her and kind of shrug. Then this guy pulls out from a hidden pocket inside of my backpack, the gun that I had confiscated from my student.  I of course immediately freaked out, and said it wasn't mine.  Except for it came from MY backpack.  The thing is that he just let us throw it away, and then we boarded the plane.  He didn't question me, or call me a liar, he just let me go.  It is not lost on me that I was able to get through that situation without any problems because of my privilege.  I guarantee that you have a story like that if you are from America and are white.  You may think you don't because you didn't grow up wealthy or because you have never left the country, but I am telling you, that you do.  I guarantee it, just stop and think about it.  


I'm not here to judge you, and trust me when I say that reading this book will help you realize that even more.  But I am here to say that I am not going to stop writing, and reading, and trying to understand how we can heal this nation, and the world.  WE have to focus on healing.  We have to focus on understanding and loving.  

I'm thankful for where I am now, and where I came from.  I'm thankful that I am not just stuck in the same place that I was as a high school and college student who thought she should judge everyone.  I am thankful for moments of deep contemplation to help me understand my role, then and now.  

Monday, January 7, 2019

Book #1 of 2019.... Becoming by Michelle Obama

She is probably the hero I never knew I needed.  Reading Becoming, as my first book of 2019 was by far the best choice I could have made.  I am in complete awe of her raw vulnerability.  Seeing life on the inside of the presidency gives me goosebumps as I sit here typing this.  I think that in our age of screens, and instant communication we often forget that people are human.  The things we say and do to others impact them in a negative way.  It is an awful world we have created.  Where there is only hate for those that don't agree with us.  The words that are tossed around on social media especially by so called Christians makes me embarrassed at times to be one. 

This book opened up my eyes to see this family in a different way.  More than that though I realized as I read how very important it is to stand up to those that want to bring us down.  How important it is to be a voice for those that think they are a failure.  How very important it is that I fight for equality, of all races, and sexes. 

Thank you Michelle Obama for opening my eyes to see behind the scenes of what looks to be a glorious life.  Thank you for helping me to understand more about the sacrifices that were made to lead this country so well for 8 years.  Maybe I didn't agree with every decision that was made, but I sure am thankful that we were led by people that loved each other and all of those in our nation. 

A few of my favorite quotes from this book: 

"For me, it revived an old internal call-and-response, one that tracked all the way back to high school, when I'd shown up at Whitney Young and found myself suddenly gripped by doubt.  Confidence, I'd learned then, sometimes needs to be called from within.  I've repeated the same words to myself many times now, through many climbs.  Am I good enough?  Yes I am. "  page 284

"It's all a process, steps along a path.  Becoming requires equal parts patience and rigor.  Becoming is never giving up on the idea that there's more growing to be done."  -page 419

"I've never been a fan of politics, and my experience over the last ten years has done little to change that.  I continue to be put off by the nastiness- the tribal segregation of red and blue, this idea that we're supposed to choose one side and stick to it, unable to listen and compromise, or sometimes even to be civil.  I do believe that at its best, politics can be a means for positive change, but this arena is just not for me."  -419

"I'm an ordinary person who found herself on an extraordinary journey.  In sharing my story I hope to create space for others stories and other voices to widen the pathway for who belongs and why.  I've been lucky enough to get to walk into stone castles, urban classrooms, and Iowa kitchens, just trying to be myself, just trying to connect.  For every door that's been opened to me, I've tried to open my door to others.  And here is what I have to say, finally:  Let's invite one another in.  Maybe then we can begin to fear less, to make fewer wrong assumptions, to let go of the biases and stereotypes that unnecessarily divide us.  Maybe we can better embrace the ways we are the same.  It's not about being perfect.  It's not about where you get yourself in the end.  There's power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice.  And there's grace in being willing to know and hear others.  This, for me, is how we become."  -421


There was so much to learn in this book.  It will be on my shelf for a lifetime.  Thankful to be able to live my life as authentically as I can!