My A to Z Challenge is a blog about singleness. Some myths, some thoughts, some of the things that I have been learning as a 30 something year old single American woman, in a culture that sees this as something that is less than..... join me on this journey!
J is for Just Friends. Singleness Myth #10: Once you have been friend zoned that's it, there's no hope.
I know that there are going to be some very different opinions on this one. I for one have had multiple different opinions over the past 5 years especially. I don't even know that I am 100% sold on what I am about to write, but I think I want to believe it is true enough that I am willing to believe it.
Not too long ago I realized just how real this "friend zoned" thing is. I was talking to a guy that I speak to pretty regularly and he was telling me about this girl that he has always liked. There was one night when she suggested it go beyond friends, but it wasn't the right timing for him, and it didn't happen. He still to this day likes her, but he doesn't want to ruin the friendship, so he is never going to do anything about it. He says that he has suggested it since then and she has shut him down every time.
In my experience when two people are really good friends, like in the scenario above there is always at least one that has feelings even if the other doesn't. Yet it seems like there is always that fear in friendships that it will ruin the friendship. So, is there really such a thing as being friend zoned? Are there are lot of single people out there that could be in relationships with their best friends, but they are too scared that it will ruin the friendship?
I don't buy it. I think that if something is really there, then it would be worth that risk, it would be worth it, right? It would be worth it to learn and grow in that friendship as a couple. Isn't life about taking risks?
I don't believe that going through life scared of losing people is any way to live. If we aren't willing to be vulnerable and put ourselves out there, then what is the point? Aren't we called to a life that stretches us and grows us, a life that causes us to step outside our box, and be open to new things.
I hope if that time comes for me, I will be willing to let down my guard, and give it a chance. Even if it becomes like this Cole Swindell song.
Cole Swindell- Break up in the End