Thursday, October 17, 2013

Light in a palm tree

I honestly have to stop myself and wonder if I am going to wake up at any minute and be back in my bed in Kuwait.  I have been just walking around so free from the things that were weighing me down.  I am still unsure if all of this had to take place.  How does one really know the will of God?  Can we change the will of God?  Or are we just living life, and we make choices and God is the one orchestrating our choices?  How exactly does that work.  I am sure that everyone has an answer, and honestly I am not looking to get into a debate, I am just curious at this point in time.  

Tonight I am writing this from my room!  For those of you that have never been without internet, well you probably don't understand what a huge joy it is to be sitting in my clean, organized room writing on my computer and enjoying the fact that I am able to just ponder and thing about what is to come.  

My students are amazing.  Today I had to implement the give me 5 rule, but honestly it was not even that big of a deal.  I don't want to just let them get away with stuff because it feels so lax from my other jobs that I have had recently, but I also just feel this huge joy in just letting them be kids.  They are truly super great.  I know it is only the first day, but honestly I just think about things that I have had to deal with in the past I am so very thankful.  

I doubt if I will ever be called a monster or the F-bomb in this school or this country for that matter.  

Today I had a co-worker ask what is wrong with America.  Why is it that you can step into an Asian (mostly Korean) school and find kids that respect you.  Even the older students have treated me with the upmost respect every single time they pass me in the hallway.  What is it that we are or aren't doing in America that is causing this disrespect for all adults, but I hate to admit it...mostly teachers and parents?  

Is it because we have stopped telling kids no?  Is it because we aren't wanting to hurt a kids feelings, so we just allow them to do whatever they want and talk any way that they want?  What is it that is causing our teachers to quit, and our students to utterly fail because they do not understand what the term respect means.  
How do we change this?  

I don't know...honestly I have no idea.  I wish I did.  I wish I could write a book called...The Secrets of the Asians....an educational guide to respectful students.  That has a catchy title doesn't it?  

My students are amazing!  They make me laugh, and they make me cry.  

I have two girls that can't speak English...really at all.  But I am seeing them as my challenge.  2 out of 10 is much better than 19 out of 23!  

Tonight I am praying that I can hold on to this perspective, this joy, and this view of adventure.  I don't want to lose what I am feeling.  I don't want to be here for 2 months and want to get out.  

Challenge accepted....look to the bright side...see life as the adventure it was meant to be!  

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