I prayed for this... I prayed that I could live in community with people. Fellow believers, people that I can cook with, laugh with and take pictures with. I am excited to see how this year goes. I am not sure that I will be here much longer than this school year, but I am thankful for this opportunity. I am thankful that I can for once look outside myself and see what it is truly like to just give without caring if you get anything back in return. Have I ever really done that? No, probably not. I am not even sure that I am doing it now, but I sure am trying. I am trying to understand where others are coming from. Trying to grasp how we can all be so alike and so different at the same time. Its funny to me how many things get lost in translation. How many times I have to remind myself that I am amongst people that are not speaking English as a native language. There are going to be things that we don't understand. There are going to be words that are misconstrued and there are going to be times when all I want to do is transform myself into a super hero so I can fly back to the U.S. where things make sense. Or at least make sense in the way that I am used to.
Tonight everyone who lives in my section of the school housing were actually in the same place at the same time. We were all downstairs, doing some form of cooking/eating together, and it was wonderful. 5 people from 5 different backgrounds living in community. I can't even describe how great I feel knowing that I have people here living near me that value me as a person and as an individual. I think a huge part of it has to do with the majority being Korean. There is just something about Asian cultures that draws me...seriously I just want to eat Kimchi all day long! :)
We have a bit of drama going on around here right now. It has the ability to create major chaos into our lives. I hope that it doesn't but honestly there is nothing in the situation that is under my control, and honestly nothing that is of my business really. Yet we all know about. That is the part of community that I could do without. The fact that everyone knows what is happening, especially if there is drama. Why can't we just live our lives drama-free? Why can't we just look and things from others perspectives, and help each other out?
Because we are imperfect, because we live in a world that is desperate for good. Desperate to be taken out of the muck and sadness. Desperate to be shown how to live without hate, without pain and without sorrow.
If only we could really live our lives that way. If only we could see beyond ourselves and understand what it means to have absloutely nothing. I'm not talking about not being able to afford starbucks. I am talking about not knowing how you are going to feed your family for the next 2 weeks. Desperation that causes people to do things that are horrible. Desperation that causes doubt of love, and forgiveness. Desperation that gives up of ever having hope again.
How do we live with hope ourselves when the world is crying out to be healed. When we look at something that happened, and ask God why. Ask God how that could happen. How could someone who is already desperate be asked to do more?
Walking in another's shoes....can we really ever grasp it?
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