Betrayal....

All of us have felt it, betrayal.  We tell someone something in complete confidence, and the next minute the whole world seems to know what we thought would never come from that friend's mouth.  It hurts, it is a pain like no other.  Or perhaps you have someone that you have trusted and then the next minute they are dating someone that you liked, or they have become best friends with someone that you had both gossiped about (even though you shouldn't have). 

We all have felt betrayed at some point in our lives.  It stabs us in the heart.  It makes us wonder if we can trust anyone.  It is one of the hardest experiences that a person goes through in my opinion.  This week during Holy Week, the word betrayed keeps crossing my mind.  Especially today for some reason.  Thinking about Jesus, and his most trusted followers, and how one of them sought out to betray Him.  What must that have been like?  For Jesus, and for the betrayer.  What kind of ugliness do you have to have in your heart to want to turn someone in?   Greed maybe?  Power maybe?  Anger? 

Sometimes I become so self-absorbed that I think I would NEVER dream of doing something like that... not me!  Ofcourse not!  Then I look at myself in the mirror, and realize that I am just as guilty of betrayal as the next person is.  I don't get to put myself on a pedestal with this one.  Not at all.  I am just as greedy, power hungry, and angry about someone being better or getting more honor than I do.  It makes me human to feel this way.  But it doesn't mean I have to live in this human feeling. 

I don't ever want to be the person that betrays.  The person that ruins relationships because I don't know how to put others first.  The person that only seeks out my own desires above all else.  The person that wants the fame and glory.  I don't want that, yet everyday I find myself fighting that urge. 

So, how do I stop it?  How do I understand the feelings involved in this betrayal, and live differently? 

I believe the answer is love.  Seeing people the way they aren't meant to be.  Understanding that there are going to be times when someone betrays my confidence, and the greatest thing I can do is love them through that.  Know that by me trusting people that is another form of my love for them. 

I don't ever want to go down the road of anger.  It is too much for me to walk in.  My life doesn't live well in the angry state. 

As I walk through this week, pondering what it means that I believe in a Savior that was betrayed because of reasons that are opposite of love.  I want to understand even more what it took for Jesus to accept the betrayal, knowing that it had to happen just like that.  I want to understand how He continued to love, and lead.  How He continued to acknowledge God in the midst of this deep pain, and anguish.  I want to understand how to love in the midst of pain, sorrow, and rejection. 

May this betrayal fuel me to see people in the most authentic way I can,  and love them no matter what.