Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Looking up, and hoping for some direction
This is just one of my many rants today. I know that this probably isn't blog worthy, but it just has me thinking about perspective and how selfish we are. I mean I completely know I am being selfish...because I want to be able to live my life without having to consider 5 other people every time I decided to stay up past 10:00pm. The truth is though that I have to stop being selfish and I have to think of others. But I also have to get the heck out of here, and settle somewhere else I don't want to be here anymore. It is turning me into a person that I don't like. I don't feel close to anyone and I am tired of just living life as a zombie....not really caring about things and going through the motions.
I want friends, I want a social life. I want to do something other than sit in my room on the weekends. I want to be able to go to the park without fear of being kidnapped for ransom. I want to be able to drive and just walk along the river. I want to be able to live...and I can't live here. I can't just be me. I am this person that I don't even want to be around. I am someone right now that has lost myself, and in so doing I am pushing people away. I know I am doing this, but I don't really think I want or care to stop.