I've been trying really hard not to get hopeful or discouraged by the crazy amount of jobs I have applied for. But when you have two job interviews lined up, it is hard to not at least be somewhat hopeful. I want a good job. I want a job that I can excel at. I want a place to call home, a place where I can share love to those that may not have it.
I'm pretty excited by the prospect of both jobs that I will be interviewing at, but I am also a little apprehensive. The thing is that I have never in my life moved to a city in the United States where I didn't already know a least a handful of people. Sure I worked at RH, and then later moved there, but I had the RH connection..so I already had friends out there. Otherwise my life in the states has consisted of 2 places, and both those places have held memories and people that I love. So the prospect of moving to a town in America where I know absolutely no one...well it kind of freaks me out.
Right now there are people reading this that think I am crazy. I know...you are saying to yourself..."she has lived all over the world, but she can't live in KC, Missouri?" Ha! You would be absolutely right. You see there is this certain pressure that is taken off of you when you move overseas. Oh sure there are struggles, but they are different kind of struggles. I am not saying that I wasn't ever lonely while living overseas, because trust me there have been plenty of times when I have been lonely. What I am saying is that it is a different kind of lonely. When you are in America and you can speak the same language as the people around you expect to not be lonely. You expect to be able to make friends and fit in. But it isn't always so easy. I am just saying that there is some pressure in starting over again. I am excited about what it will entail, but I am also scared to death about the person I am fitting back into the Missouri mold.