Sunday, December 29, 2019

Lessons from 2019

Thinking about the year 2019....

What a year it was.  I feel like it started out in this pretty good place, and then it just completely unraveled.  But the thing is that it is ending pretty well.  I have learned so much this year.  About myself, about other people, and about my purpose in this world.  I don't have everything figured out, but I sure do have a better grip on what I want in this life.  I don't know what is in store for 2020, but I know that I have more faith in God right now, then I maybe ever have before.  But I also know that my faith looks very different than it has in the past.  So, here I sit... watching the Packers lose, and thinking about this year.  Thinking about the memories that I hold, the great conversations that I have had, and the people that have pushed me and encouraged me along the way.

This year I had moments where I felt the most alone I ever have.  It was awful, and I wasn't sure that I would make it out of those moments, but I did.  I dusted myself off, got up and realized that sometimes you just have to get up and start going.  That is sometimes the only way to move past the darkness.  We aren't always going to have people around us.  In this year I have learned that there will be a lot of people that leave.  There will be a lot of people that just don't need to be there for all the days of my journey.  They are only there for a little while.

I have also learned that I am a helper.  What makes me happy is helping other people, and being there for them.  It is sometimes my greatest weakness, as well as my greatest strength.  To love others the way they need to be loved.  To see them in their moments of heartache, and be able to step in and be there for them.  I don't do it perfectly, but I sure do try.  I used to think that there was something wrong with me, but this year has taught me that there isn't.  I am exactly who I need to be.  Sometimes it is too much for people.  They don't agree with my philosophies on life, and they don't want anything to do with me.  It might hurt for a little while, but honestly I have to come to realize that I am just not right for those people.  We don't have to be friends with everyone, in fact we can't be.  So... I have my people in my life, and I am going to choose to invest in them, and hopefully they invest in me.  I lost a friend this year, that I would have never imagined losing.  She was one of those people that comes across like she actually cares about others, but I have to wonder if it was all just a façade?

So I ponder and think about everything that came about in 2019.... and here is what I learned:

*Friendships are what we make of them.  Sometimes we have to let friends go and it's not a reflection of who we are.

*God's timing is perfect, even if the wait is difficult.

*Always be open to people that come back into your life, it just might bring some of the best friendships.

*Everyone feels lonely sometimes, the best we can do is reach out to each other, and not be self-focused.

*My Enneagram is a 2!  Loving, helpful, generous, and considerate!  There is nothing wrong with being a 2!

*I am not single, because I am not enough.

*Being there for other people is my greatest gift.

*The best is yet to come!

All in all 2019 was a good year!  Can't wait to see what 2020 holds!

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