There aren't a lot of times when it is clear to me that God is asking me to wait. Most of the time it probably should be clear, but I just ignore the signs. This time though, God has been pretty clear. I was looking through my journaling from a couple of years ago at this time. It was a time in my life when I was seeking out some direction about a specific situation, and I felt like God was telling me to wait. Instead of waiting though, I think I just kept trying to make this thing happen that I wanted to happen. Instead of waiting for God's timing I just kept pushing, and reading into things, that really if I would have just waited it would have gone a lot smoother, and might not have had the outcome that it did.
So, here I am two years later, in a similar situation, except for this time I know that I need to wait. Why is it that when feelings and emotions are involved we want to jump in head first instead of taking the time to pray and know that it is the right thing? For me it is a lack of self-control, patience, and trust. I know that I want to trust God with my life, with my desires, and with my future. But there is this part of me that doesn't trust Him to fulfill everything I want Him to. There is a part of me that gets lost in the need for things to happen in my time instead of His.
It is hard though, right? It is hard because we are human and waiting is not a fun thing to do, especially when it seems like this thing if it would happen would totally be the right thing. But what if I need more time, or the situation needs more time? What if the person that I need to become is going to be the person that would be better in this situation? I have to believe that the waiting is molding me and making me into who I need to be for that given moment of time. I have to believe that when it is time, then I will know it.
So, I wait. It is not an easy thing to do everyday, and I know that I don't always wait with perfect patience or peace, but it does help to know that He's got me. He knows my heart, my circumstances, and the desires that play into who I am and who He created me to be. Sometimes we don't even know what we truly want without time. Sometimes we get lost in trying to decipher this or that, when really it is just about kneeling at the cross, and being willing to do whatever it takes to wait for His timing.
Verses that help me wait: