I feel like I am learning something new everyday about being authentic. I haven't done the best at being authentic, even though I really want to be perfect at it. But we aren't perfect. So, what does being authentic mean? I think some days it means that you say exactly how you feel. I think that some days it means that you don't say exactly how you feel. There are moments in time when you have to turn your eyes in, and close your mouth, and just listen. I have had doubts over the past few months that things I said or didn't say in my authenticity journey were mistakes. That at the core of trying to be authentic, I failed.
I don't think this is true though, not really. The main reason is because learning to be authentic is a journey, it is a huge journey. We spend the first 30 years of our lives learning how to hide what we really feel, and not be authentic. It is hard to undo a lifetime of habits. You know the kind I'm talking about, right? Where you try so hard to be anyone but yourself. You criticize every single thing that you say or do, and you don't allow yourself to just be who you were meant to be.
I find myself criticizing and comparing so often that I think I forget to just look at myself the way God does. I forget that I was Created and Formed. I forget that people are just people. No one can determine my worth, for I was Created and Formed in His image. Isn't that worth being authentic for? Isn't the fact that my heart loves Him, cries out for Him, and worships Him, isn't that enough to radiate who He is, to radiate authenticity?
I think that often I get lost in the expectations that I put on others. The expectation that they are on the same authentic journey that I am. The thing is that it just isn't true. As people, as human beings we often times say one thing, and then do another. I can't get caught up in that. I can't let it surprise me. For just because I choose the journey of authenticity, well it doesn't mean that anyone else has to, or it doesn't mean that they are going to be at the same place I am.
So in this journey I take it one day at a time. I learn to love myself for who I was Created to be. I embrace all that I am, the mess that I am. I understand that to God I am never too much to handle. And I try my very best in every single interaction I have to be authentic, to love authentically, and to accept those around me exactly where they are.
Authenticity could change this world if we let it! One day at a time...authenticity changes things.