I'm pretty sure that pretty soon people are going to get really tired of me just sticking the word authentic in front of everything. I can't help it though, I feel like it is my word. It is the word that God is like, I made this word for you. It isn't true, I mean not really...but I am owning this word, because I think that in owning it I understand Him so much more.
Today's sermon was about Jesus being in the boat with us. I couldn't help but think...ofcourse I let Him in the boat with me. Then I feel like there was this conversation going on between God and I. It was more like "Do you really." And I was like, "Ofcourse I do." Then God was like...."I don't think you do." And on and on...
So you can imagine how this conversation went...I'm sure we all can identify...
One of my biggest take-aways from today was that I have to recognize that Jesus is in the boat with me. I have to understand that He does have every single storm under control. That He understands the struggles I have inside of myself that no one else knows about. The truth is that I need to be authentic with Jesus.
One might think that is a pretty easy thing to do, because who knows us best? Ofcourse God does! Yet, I find myself trying to convince God that the problems I have well they aren't really problems at all, in fact I think I try to convince God that I don't even feel the things I do.
This is pretty confusing to me, but it also has this weird way of making sense. You see if I can convince God that I really do have everything under control, and that my problems really aren't that big of a deal, then it will seem like I have everything together...even to God, right?
WRONG! Big fat stinking...WRONG! God knows! I can hide nothing from him. Whether they are feelings about someone that I am trying to convince myself I don't have, or that I really wasn't trying to get in touch with that person that is super toxic and not a person I need to be in touch with....or just the fact that I need to give others more love and grace.
You see when I authentically acknowledge that Jesus is in my boat, that He is with me in EVERY SINGLE STRUGGLE I have...well that seems to be like letting HIM completely in to see all of me. The parts that I hide so well from others, the inner thoughts that are sometimes not the nicest. When I am authentic in Jesus' presence....then I have nothing left but to allow Jesus to take control of that storm.
So, today I think being authentic with Jesus is worth far more than being comfortable with everyone around me. I must first be transparent with Him, because if I'm not then having him inside the boat with me is pretty much pointless, isn't it?