Friday, January 3, 2014

Late night thoughts about the future....

I'm super excited that I am going to be back in Missouri in April.  I am not even sure if I can hold back my enthusiasm for a place that I never thought I would be this excited to be going to.  

I have thought about the last time I was going back to MO, and how I knew that it would just be a temporary time.  I don't know how but my heart and my thoughts have completely changed.  I no longer care to see the world.  I no longer feel that I am being called to a life in another country.  I long to just be back in Missouri.  I long to find a job where I can be for the next 15-20 years or more.  A place to settle down, have a family and get to experience life, being able to just live without the day to day feeling of not understanding the culture that I live in.  

I am not saying that there won't be days when I just want to leave it all and head back overseas.  I also do not think that I will always understand my life in America.  But I want it.  I want to live within driving distance of my family.  I want to be able to just be me, and not live up to the expectation of perfection that I have been trying to live up to for the past 10 years or so.  

So...I am coming back....first for a visit in April and then for good in June.  

I'm excited and nervous...and hopeful.  

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