I'm super excited that I am going to be back in Missouri in April. I am not even sure if I can hold back my enthusiasm for a place that I never thought I would be this excited to be going to.
I have thought about the last time I was going back to MO, and how I knew that it would just be a temporary time. I don't know how but my heart and my thoughts have completely changed. I no longer care to see the world. I no longer feel that I am being called to a life in another country. I long to just be back in Missouri. I long to find a job where I can be for the next 15-20 years or more. A place to settle down, have a family and get to experience life, being able to just live without the day to day feeling of not understanding the culture that I live in.
I am not saying that there won't be days when I just want to leave it all and head back overseas. I also do not think that I will always understand my life in America. But I want it. I want to live within driving distance of my family. I want to be able to just be me, and not live up to the expectation of perfection that I have been trying to live up to for the past 10 years or so.
So...I am coming back....first for a visit in April and then for good in June.
I'm excited and nervous...and hopeful.