We are never guaranteed a tomorrow. We never know when the day we are walking around in will be our last. For thousands of people in the Philippines this past week was their last week here on earth. They will never again be able to physically hold their child, or kiss their mother on the cheek. They will never again physically be able to say how much they appreciate that their best friend always knows when to show up with a Carmel Cappuccino from Starbucks. They will never again be able to look their 8 month old son in the eyes and see his grin as he tries to grab the hair that is in his grasp. For some people this past weekend was their worst nightmare.
It causes me to think about my family and friends back in Missouri and scattered throughout the world. Do I have regrets? Is there anyone that I need to connect with that I haven't done so in awhile? Is there anyone that I need to make sure I know that they know exactly how much they are loved? I find that being here in the Philippines is giving me more time to live my life than it ever has before. I am finding that I am able to ponder things that I have taken for granted before, and I am able to just sit back and be thankful for the moments I have to catch up and take notice of people that I have not heard from in awhile. I am so very thankful that I am not caught up in being so busy that I don't have time to just sit and think.
Being here in the Philippines when one of the worst Typhoons has hit ever has caused me to really think about life. I don't ever want to have regrets. I don't want to ever wish that I had said those three little words, or shown through my actions just how much I care. I stink at emotions, and feelings. I know I do. I probably will always stink at it, most of the time because I am trying to protect myself. I am trying to not get rejected. But you know what?
Rejection makes you stronger, and if that is the worse that can happen. If the worse is that someone rejects you...then so what! You get rejected and you move forward. You heal and you move on, or you mend that relationship that got broken in the first place. But you don't just sit around and feel sorry for yourself. There is too little of life left to waste just feeling sorry for yourself. Rejection sucks....I mean it really sucks. It makes you feel like you are worth nothing, it makes you feel like maybe God made a mistake when he created you. But He didn't. There are no mistakes. No matter what....there are no mistakes. Not in creation, not in orchestrating things, and not in the people that we meet.
I pray for those families that have lost loved ones this weekend. I pray for them because I know what it is like to feel loss and pain. I know what it is like to want to call up my relative or friend and not be able to. But unfortunately this world is not without pain and destruction. It stinks and it makes us wonder why. It makes us really just question how an earthquake and a typhoon can hit the same exact area of the world less than a month apart? Why?
I question why it needed to take place, but it is not for me to ask why...it is for me to pray and do what I can. Part of what I can do is to live with no regrets. To understand that no matter what I need to be able to be vulnerable. Even if it means rejection. Even if it means that I get hurt. Being hurt and growing from that hurt, is better than taking no chances. Better than living a life without risk.