What do you do when someone does something in your past that hurts you? Do you hold on to it, and let it bring you down in every part of your life, or do you pick yourself up and keep going. I have had a couple conversations in the past few weeks with people that made me realize that we all truly do have different ways of seeing the world. Some of us are just get up and goers. Things bring us down, but instead of dwelling on it, and letting it fester, and cause bitterness and anger we pick ourselves up and move past it. Others of us dwell. We let it mess with every interaction that we have. We let it change the way we see others. We allow it to control us in a way that we can't see past it. We can't forgive and move forward.
I have had my own times of people being unkind to me, or doing things that hurt me in a way I didn't think I would ever get over it. I have had people say and do things that caused me to be afraid of future relationships and friendships. I still sometimes am afraid that people will all of a sudden just stop being my friend, or they will all of a sudden unload 20 years worth of things they have been holding in that I had no idea that was how they felt. I am afraid of those things, because they have happened.
The thing is, I have a choice every time something happens. Every time someone engages with me in a way that I find offensive, or hurtful. I have the choice to let it damage me, and dwell on it, or to see it for what it is, deal with it and move on. The crazy thing about this world is that we are not going to see things the same way as others. That is our uniqueness. That is why the world is so diverse, because we are diverse. I don't want people to see things the same way I do! That would be SO boring! I want to have conversations with others that help me to see things a different way. I don't thrive on arguing, but I do thrive on conversations that help me to see other's perspectives.
If we get hurt, and continue in a pattern of unforgiveness then we are going to live life bitter and angry. We are always going to see the things people are "doing" to us, not for us.
I hope that my life can be lived bouncing back from the things that people say or do with forgiveness, empathy, and love. No one owes me anything. Their friendship with me no matter how much or little, is a gift. I am not entitled to other people doing things for me or being there for me. Yes, do I hope that they will.. of course. But my job isn't to go around complaining when people don't meet my expectations. My job is to give, love, and be there to hopefully show them that no matter what they do... I will always be there for them.
The past will always be there... the hurts, the pains, the things that we wish weren't a part of who we are today. But as we work through those things... we have a job to do... to let go of those things, and move forward. Forgive people, let them in... love them beyond ourselves... I think that is the greatest thing we can give this world.
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