It has been a little while since I have written. I feel like I have been caught up in a lot of things that are trying to steal my attention and time. A lot of things that are trying to hook me in so that I forget why I am actually here in the first place. I forget my purpose, and my dreams. I forget that I still have so much to accomplish, but that it isn't really about me.
Do you ever feel tired. Tired of life, tired of living in a chaotic existence? Tired of the crazy amount of work that you have to do, all for what? This week I had to spend a lot of time examining my heart, and my future. I am still in the midst of some pretty big decisions. Decisions that will impact a lot of different aspects of my life. Decisions that need to be made, but I am for once having a really hard time with change. I usually thrive on it, I usually love it. But this time, change is really hard. Because it is going to be so good, but it is literally going to change EVERYTHING!
How do I continue to go in the direction I am supposed to go, and stay the same? I can't. I can't stay the same. I have to learn and grow from the experiences that have been impacting me. I have to open up to the future, and what is going to happen. I have to accept that some people are only in my life to steer me onto the next BIG thing.
I wish it wasn't that way. I really do!
We have to live life to the fullest. We have to open ourselves up to change, to redirection, and to stepping outside of our comfort zone. We have to finish the race. We can't get caught up in the things that want to make us stumble.
That means making changes, BIG changes. That means making priorities that are not directed towards my own selfish wants/desires. That means giving up some things that I don't want to let go of.
But it also means a life that is running the race well.