I've tried to be kind of quiet on FB these days, just because I feel like I am constantly bombarded with things that make my skin crawl, and turn my stomach inside out. There are some pretty big changes about to happen in my life this next month. I am switching to the Jeff City location, and moving in to a new apartment in Jeff City. A couple months ago I felt like God was making some big changes in my life, but I didn't know exactly what those were going to be and where it would take me. I was prepared to move across the ocean. I was prepared to step way outside of my comfort zone, but turns out that He wants me here for awhile. I had also been feeling like He was changing my church location. I didn't know where He was going to move me to, but I felt it, and I kept pushing back against it.
Until I had the realization that maybe my journey needs to be somewhere else. It isn't anything against where I am currently attending, volunteering and majorly involved. I think that my heart is just being moved. For me I need to be in a place where people are standing up for kids that are being torn away from their parents. For me I need to be in a place that is going to take a stand against hate. Take a strong stand against injustice. You see I don't need all the information to know that what is happening isn't right. I don't need to know all the laws, and all the ins and outs. I just need to know that kids are being taken from their parents, for seeking asylum. For seeking refuge. I just need to know that love isn't winning in order for me to stand up for what I believe to be right. What I believe to be the way of love, grace, and mercy.
I will never be a typical American. Living overseas for 5 years changed me. It changed my heart, it changed the way that I view the world, and it gave me a new perspective. It changed my loyalty. I became loyal to Christ first, before any country, flag, or anthem. I became loyal to loving people, all people instead of only seeing the needs in my own country. I would never choose the life of an American over someone from another country, just because they are American. It's not how He has created me to be. That character trait alone, will cause some people to hate me, and I am okay with that. It could even put my life in danger, and I am okay with that. Because when I get to where I am going next, I don't want to say.... well I thought that you created Americans better. Nope, I want to say... I loved everyone just as you would have. I treated everyone with the same compassion, love, and grace that you would have. I put my loyalty in you, my faith in you, and trusted that you were where my heart should lean towards.
My comfort zone is not inside the walls of this country. My comfort zone doesn't stop at someone who can only speak English. I don't feel distain for those that are trying to run away from the various hardships that they are faced with on a daily basis. I don't look at myself as better than them, because I was born here and they were born into poverty. I don't want to spew hate towards those that believe differently than I do. Towards those that come from a different culture, a different religion. I would choose anyone of them to be my neighbor, even if it meant that none of my friends or family agreed with me, or chose to visit me.
So, as I ponder where my heart is being led, and what that could mean for my future. I stop and pray everyday that we, no really that I never lose sight of who God has called me to be. My voice isn't really heard very much, but I am going to keep speaking it. I am going to continue to be a voice for those that are being treated with hate and discrimination. I don't think laws should be broken, but you know what? I also don't think people anywhere in the world should be forced to live in conditions that are causing them to die, or get murdered.
I won't walk around blindly, just because someone spews a few Bible verses here are there. Actions speak louder than words, and I for one would prefer that my actions, my words, and my beliefs all match.
So.... I get ready for the next steps in my journey. I get ready to stand up more, speak out more, and love a whole lot more. I get ready to put aside my bias, and try to do what I can to make this world, this country a better place for everyone.
My hope and comfort is that nothing is impossible for Him.... nothing.