Addicted, and what I am doing about it....

I would have never openly admitted that I was addicted to FB.  I mean I could control it right?  Until that moment when I realized that I couldn't.  I think it was when I realized that I was scrolling mindlessly through, or when I was wondering why this person liked that person's status but not mine that I realized I had to do something about it.  Then I had a conversation with a co-worker.  In that conversation he reminded me just how superficial FB can be.  It makes us think that all these people are our friends, that we have these close intimate relationships with 500 some people across the world, when in reality I probably only talk to a handful of them... and some I don't even remember how we became FB friends in the first place. 

So I deleted FB.  Actually I didn't just delete it, I deactivated it.  I will even go so far as to say that I didn't want to do the reactivate in 7 days thing, because I wanted to disappear for a little while.  It was about breaking an addiction.  I was addicted to checking it.  I was addicted to the number of likes I was getting.  I was addicted to letting everyone know exactly what I was doing.  In some instances it was way too much information. 

The best thing I did was deactivate FB.  It had become an addiction, even more than that it had become my idol.  The thing that I was putting above everything and everyone else.  The thing I was going to find my worth and value.  It was taking up more than 50% of my time, and if I am actually honest it was taking up more like 95%. 

Do you know what happens when you get rid of addiction and idols?  You get a clearer picture of the things that you were confused about or trying to understand in your life.  When I got rid of FB, I was able to pray a lot more, and hear His voice tell me some things that I needed to hear. 

I will admit that I almost replaced the FB addiction with another addiction that is far worse, but they both at the root of the problem stem from wanting attention.  Wanting to be loved and valued.  Wanting people to like me.  So, as I continue to search out ways to get rid of addictions, and idols, I look up, and realize that we all have them.  We all are addicted to one thing or another.  We all have those go-to's that we can't seem to get rid of. 

I think the first step is to acknowledge it though.  The first step is to say, this is a problem, and I have to do something about it. 

I'm not perfect, and I will never pretend to be.  I am sure that there will come a day when I need to deactivate FB again, but for now I look at the other idols in my life that are trying to steal my time.  I am honest with myself that there are plenty of them. 

I don't want addiction, and idols to hold me back, or cloud my vision for where I am supposed to be.  The minute I take my eyes off of my God, that's when I am going to lose His purpose and plan.  So, I keep pressing forward, recognizing my weaknesses, and my go-to stress relievers, and I take it one day at a time. 

For now I have been released by the hold FB had on me, there is something else I need to be released from, but I realize it is an addiction that has a great hold on me.  So, it is going to take a little more time.  But I have a God on my side, that won't let me fail.  That my friends, is what I put my hope in.  I'm never too far removed that He can't grab a hold of me, and lead me through that foggy, unclear mess.