Monday, February 2, 2015

February's Authentic Self

The month of February has always been the worst month for me.  No, it's not because of V-day and it being a single awareness month.  It's nothing like that.  It just seems that February usually brings a lot of loss in my life.  I usually lost people, whether it is just the loss of a relationship or if it is the loss of someone due to death...February just always seems to be the month that those things happen the most. 

This year isn't any different.  This year I started February mourning a relationship that I thought I had already been moving on from.  I guess mourning goes in different stages and this time I really just wanted it to hurt less, but instead it hurt more.  So much more actually.  I just don't want to think about that person because all I do is just want him back in my life. 

The thing is that I am not going to allow February to hold this negative cycle of loss.  I don't want to constantly be dreading the month of February.  So, I choose instead to focus on something that I heard yesterday at church. 

How can I be the best me?  How can I become my authentic self? 

Do I even know who my authentic self is? 

I'd like to think so, but deep down I know that I probably don't.  I know that my self changes depending on who I am around and who I am trying to impress.  Why do we do that to ourselves?  Why do we continue in this pattern of being who we think everyone wants us to be instead of just being who we are. 

So this month of February I am going to try to post a lot about being my true authentic self.  Care to join me on this journey??? 

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