That word...Messy....I feel like it is the new word for this time in history. I feel like I finally get it, along with maybe a small group of people that I am in contact with. Life is messy, we as humans are messy. We are all just going through this life trying to do the best that we can. We aren't going to be perfect, we are going to fail....but isn't that what it's all about?
Life is so messy.
I have a messy life. Some of it is messy because of decisions I have made, and some of it is messy because of decisions others have made.
I can't go back and change the past, I am not sure that I would even if I could. But I also can't continue to compare my life with those around me. I can't continue to compare what I have gone through, thinking that I deserve so much more. That's not really how it works, is it?
It is not about what I deserve. It is about where my focus is. So many times I am so focused on what others are doing, or what they have that I lose sight of the goodness and grace that surround me. I have so much, I have been brought through so much...yet my focus gets lost in all the wishes, dreams and hopes that I have.
I don't have to measure up to those around me, I can be authentic in my own messiness.
Tonight I had a glimpse once again of what being in a messy community is like...and I am excited, thankful, scared, and hopeful.
God never fails me when I am willing to let go of those things that want to be built up around me. He never fails to give me a loving family around me no matter how far around the globe I go. I just sometimes fail to embrace it. I sometimes fail to see past my own messiness and into the design that is that glob of mess. For in every mosaic, every painting, every play, every experiment....there is so much messiness behind the masterpiece.
Goodness comes from God. Love comes from God. Messiness is a part of the journey that takes us to God. Community is where we are able to embrace our messiness and see God work.
Time to be thankful for this messy community and embrace it.