2020... not the worst

 We all know that 2020 hasn't exactly been the year that we imagined  back in December 2019 when we were making all those lists and imagining all that would come out of this year.  But as I sit here and think about all that 2020 hasn't been... I really am pretty thankful for all that 2020 has been.  

I've learned who my real friends are.  I don't have a lot of them, and they are each different in their own way... but I have learned who is there for me.  This year has allowed me to draw closer to my family like never before and rely on them.  I have learned that those that make the effort, aren't always doing it for the best motives.  I have also learned that those that don't make the effort, still might be worth it, but you just have to be careful.  

This year has brought a lot of changes with my job, the biggest being working from home.  Honestly I have enjoyed working from home.  Sure it has its moments, but honestly I'm thankful.  Because of working from home I was able to get a dog, and move.  Two things which have proved to be really great. 

I have had more Saturday's free then I thought I was going to.  I have been able to go camping/hiking a lot more, and that is something that truly does help me feel happier.  

I've been able to become stronger in 2020.  Things that would have broken me a couple years ago, haven't had that affect on me this year.  They have still affected me, and I still have had moments of being sad, and not understanding why people don't love the same way I do.  But I'm thankful that each year that goes by I get better at letting things go that need to be taken on.  

So as I think about 2020.  I don't think it was this awful year.  I think that it was a defining year.  It was the year that I finally let something go that I have been hoping for.  Something that has consumed me, but I know it will never be, and maybe it was never meant to be and I just read everything wrong.  But as I pass into the next year, I'm leaving it behind.  I'm letting it go, as much as it hurts me to.  This year helped me know that I am okay just as I am.  I am someone that people should welcome into their life, and try to keep me.  If they don't then we were just meant to be for a little while, not forever.  

So here's to another month of being defined... and looking to the good.  I hope 2021 brings a few specific things... but if it doesn't.... I'm sure that I will learn something.  And that's what counts!