Wandering takes courage, bravery, adventure, and a sense of openness to new things. Wandering is something that not everyone gets to experience. Some people know exactly where they are supposed to be and they never wander around searching for that place to call home.
When I was 23 and first setting out on my grand adventure I thought that I would wander for a few years and then I would just know. I thought that everyone just has this moment of knowing exactly where they are supposed to be. I thought that once I wandered far enough, high enough, wide enough I would snap my fingers and belong somewhere.
I was wrong. There has not been any great moment in my life when I have just known that I belonged. In some ways I feel like my life has been pretty lonely. It is not a sad kind of lonely, it is just a lone journey. I don't think I have yet to find the place where I can settle down and be myself. I am not sure that I will ever truly be able to stop wandering. It is not that I have regrets, because I don't. It is not that I think I am not where I am supposed to be, because I am sure of my decision. It is just that I don't feel settled. I still feel like I could keep going, keep moving.
I have to wonder if everyone feels this way. Do we all just put on a smile and pretend like we know what we are doing, that we are sure in our choices? Or are some of us just more inclined to wander then others?
Perhaps you have a sense of wander? Perhaps you don't.
Are you an authentic wanderer? Do you wish you were?
1 comment:
Sometime soy just have to let yourself be in the place you are , and not worry about what might have been, or might be in the future. I am 50 and still do not feel as if I have discovered where I am meant to be. I think being in the right place is a state of mind rather than a geographical location. Good luck with your wandering.
martine@ silencing the bell
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