Awesome story! I loved the way that this book worked in two different time frames, and then brought those time frames together. To tell two different stories. What an amazing story of taking one day at a time. Also just another great reminder of how blessed I should be to have the life that I do. Everyday I take for granted that there is clean, good water coming from my tap. That I don't have to walk miles to get it!
Love this story...
Heartbreaking at times, but a good story for kids especially.
Monday, March 25, 2019
Book #11 Beloved by Toni Morrison
This book was not what I was expecting at all. I actually was never made to read it in high school or college, and honestly hadn't even heard much of it.
I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head right now. This book so much truth, and so much that I feel like I missed in this first reading.
But what I do grasp is the awful amount of pain that slavery caused. The depth of pain is something that I can't even fathom. I am not even sure I can put into words all that I am feeling right now after reading this book.
Sacrifice is the one word that keeps playing over and over in my head. The sacrifices that a parent is willing to give in order to keep her/his children safe. The sacrifices that a person must make when someone feels like they own him/her.
So much sacrifice.
So much loss.
So much forgiveness needed for the things that have been done on account of the color of someone's skin being darker than the other's.
Sadness.
I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head right now. This book so much truth, and so much that I feel like I missed in this first reading.
But what I do grasp is the awful amount of pain that slavery caused. The depth of pain is something that I can't even fathom. I am not even sure I can put into words all that I am feeling right now after reading this book.
Sacrifice is the one word that keeps playing over and over in my head. The sacrifices that a parent is willing to give in order to keep her/his children safe. The sacrifices that a person must make when someone feels like they own him/her.
So much sacrifice.
So much loss.
So much forgiveness needed for the things that have been done on account of the color of someone's skin being darker than the other's.
Sadness.
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
Everything is Wrong
When you try your best
but nothing is ever good enough
You work hard to see how they do it
But it is never what they want
You push yourself to do and be who they want
But you never meet their standards
When you try your best
But you fail them everytime
How can you find your worth
In people that never point out the good
How can you manage to understand love
When you never feel loved
You keep trying, and hoping
That one day you will make them proud
But they are never proud
You are never good enough
They nitpick and put down
Everything that you do
Nothing is ever enough
You are never enough
One day you will grow up
You will look back and see
It wasn't you that was the problem
It was their need to control everything
You are enough
You are enough
Your beauty, your kindness
The way you laugh and cry
You are enough
You are enough
They just don't know how to encourage
They just don't know how to let you go
You are enough
You are enough
You are loved beyond measure,
You were created for purpose
Don't fret over their condemnation
Don't worry about your imperfections
You weren't meant to be perfect
It's okay to make mistakes
You are doing the best you can
You matter in this world
You are enough
You are enough
but nothing is ever good enough
You work hard to see how they do it
But it is never what they want
You push yourself to do and be who they want
But you never meet their standards
When you try your best
But you fail them everytime
How can you find your worth
In people that never point out the good
How can you manage to understand love
When you never feel loved
You keep trying, and hoping
That one day you will make them proud
But they are never proud
You are never good enough
They nitpick and put down
Everything that you do
Nothing is ever enough
You are never enough
One day you will grow up
You will look back and see
It wasn't you that was the problem
It was their need to control everything
You are enough
You are enough
Your beauty, your kindness
The way you laugh and cry
You are enough
You are enough
They just don't know how to encourage
They just don't know how to let you go
You are enough
You are enough
You are loved beyond measure,
You were created for purpose
Don't fret over their condemnation
Don't worry about your imperfections
You weren't meant to be perfect
It's okay to make mistakes
You are doing the best you can
You matter in this world
You are enough
You are enough
Book #10... Born Bright by C. Nicole Mason
Back on track! This book! Amazing!
I wish that I could ask that everyone in the entire country read books like this. I think that our perspectives would be completely changed. I think that we would look outside of ourselves a little bit more, and understand just how different life is for those in poor areas. Those that honestly don't have a chance to get out of where they are, because the system is continuing to fail them.
I don't know what it is like to be so poor that you don't have food. I don't know what it is like to not have a family that will help me out if I need it. I don't know what it is like to be touched inappropriately and just expected to endure it. I don't know what it is like for teachers to not see the potential in me. To be expected to never amount to anything. None of these things are truth for me, but they are for so many!
Reading this book broke my heart, but gave me hope. Hope that we can change this world. Hope that the dialogue can be open. I truly hope and pray that I can live in a way that helps make our schools, and our communities more equal for everyone.
Some of the quotes from this book, and why I liked them....
"When my turn came, rather than give my usual spiel, I wandered aloud whether or not it was the systems that were broken rather than the people. I spoke about the need to examine the institutions and structures in society and in the communities that impede rather than support self-sufficiency and economic mobility for individuals and families." - page 3
Within the first few pages of the book, she shows us her purpose. She shows the solution to what needs to happen in order for EVERYONE to have the chance to make it. No matter where we grow up, what type of community we are in, there are voices that speak to us. They tell us that we can make it, or they tell us we can't. I look forward to the day when EVERYONE no matter what has voices that are telling them they can!
"When these necessities are absent from communities, individuals and families are rightfully preoccupied with basic survival. And those who are able to succeed despite the lack of these foundational conditions are likely to be perceived as extraordinary or exceptional superhumans of a sort." -page 9
So much of this! How can we get to a place where we expect EVERYONE to succeed? We shouldn't be surprised when person of color makes it. That should not be the expectation. They are as smart and as capable as everyone else. Yet, this quote is so true! This needs to change! Oh how this needs to change!
"As a brown-skinned girl born to a teenaged mother, I had a low bar of success. No one in my family had finished high school, and because we were poor, I did not expect much ore than what I had, which was very little." -page 13
This low bar. This is exactly what needs to change. How many kids are walking around thinking that there is no hope. Thinking that because of who their family is, they are not going to move past that story. Their life has already been determined? My heart breaks thinking about it.
"I believe this is true for most children who live in poverty. They deny, conceal, and stuff down the pain and violence they experience in order to make it to the next day." Page 37
Not just in poverty, but I would even say those that live in hard homes. Homes where they have been cast aside. Or homes where they are never enough. It is easier to just push it down and leave it in order to make it through life. But that means that there is a lot that is not dealt with, and this is the worst kind of way to live.
"Although we all swam in the same pool, we were still very much segregated and kept to ourselves. We did not like to talk to other swimmers, who did not look like us. An invisible line, like a buoyed rope, separated us." -page 82
We still have this line, but it isn't just in dealing with those who don't look like us. There is so much more that divides us these days. Where do we start? How do we move past what divides us, and cling to what we have in common? We have to, or we are going to just continue swimming farther and father apart, until there is no longer any interaction at all!
This book! I have so many more quotes that I wrote down. It would take me another couple of pages to write them all down. I am thankful for this story. I am thankful for the way that she allows me to understand more of what I do not know, but need to.
I wish that I could ask that everyone in the entire country read books like this. I think that our perspectives would be completely changed. I think that we would look outside of ourselves a little bit more, and understand just how different life is for those in poor areas. Those that honestly don't have a chance to get out of where they are, because the system is continuing to fail them.
I don't know what it is like to be so poor that you don't have food. I don't know what it is like to not have a family that will help me out if I need it. I don't know what it is like to be touched inappropriately and just expected to endure it. I don't know what it is like for teachers to not see the potential in me. To be expected to never amount to anything. None of these things are truth for me, but they are for so many!
Reading this book broke my heart, but gave me hope. Hope that we can change this world. Hope that the dialogue can be open. I truly hope and pray that I can live in a way that helps make our schools, and our communities more equal for everyone.
Some of the quotes from this book, and why I liked them....
"When my turn came, rather than give my usual spiel, I wandered aloud whether or not it was the systems that were broken rather than the people. I spoke about the need to examine the institutions and structures in society and in the communities that impede rather than support self-sufficiency and economic mobility for individuals and families." - page 3
Within the first few pages of the book, she shows us her purpose. She shows the solution to what needs to happen in order for EVERYONE to have the chance to make it. No matter where we grow up, what type of community we are in, there are voices that speak to us. They tell us that we can make it, or they tell us we can't. I look forward to the day when EVERYONE no matter what has voices that are telling them they can!
"When these necessities are absent from communities, individuals and families are rightfully preoccupied with basic survival. And those who are able to succeed despite the lack of these foundational conditions are likely to be perceived as extraordinary or exceptional superhumans of a sort." -page 9
So much of this! How can we get to a place where we expect EVERYONE to succeed? We shouldn't be surprised when person of color makes it. That should not be the expectation. They are as smart and as capable as everyone else. Yet, this quote is so true! This needs to change! Oh how this needs to change!
"As a brown-skinned girl born to a teenaged mother, I had a low bar of success. No one in my family had finished high school, and because we were poor, I did not expect much ore than what I had, which was very little." -page 13
This low bar. This is exactly what needs to change. How many kids are walking around thinking that there is no hope. Thinking that because of who their family is, they are not going to move past that story. Their life has already been determined? My heart breaks thinking about it.
"I believe this is true for most children who live in poverty. They deny, conceal, and stuff down the pain and violence they experience in order to make it to the next day." Page 37
Not just in poverty, but I would even say those that live in hard homes. Homes where they have been cast aside. Or homes where they are never enough. It is easier to just push it down and leave it in order to make it through life. But that means that there is a lot that is not dealt with, and this is the worst kind of way to live.
"Although we all swam in the same pool, we were still very much segregated and kept to ourselves. We did not like to talk to other swimmers, who did not look like us. An invisible line, like a buoyed rope, separated us." -page 82
We still have this line, but it isn't just in dealing with those who don't look like us. There is so much more that divides us these days. Where do we start? How do we move past what divides us, and cling to what we have in common? We have to, or we are going to just continue swimming farther and father apart, until there is no longer any interaction at all!
This book! I have so many more quotes that I wrote down. It would take me another couple of pages to write them all down. I am thankful for this story. I am thankful for the way that she allows me to understand more of what I do not know, but need to.
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
True/False 2019
I can't believe it is over. Another True/False Film Fest has come and gone. It was the best one yet. More than the films, it was because I feel like I found my place. This weekend was full of meeting new people, and experiencing the fest in a different way. I'm not sure I truly understood the logistics of what it takes to run a fest and all of the behind the scenes until this year.
First of all being a Queen was by far one of the greatest experiences of my life. I think that it totally helped that my costume was on point. To be admired, and adored by people isn't the point of life, but it sure does help one to feel better about themselves. I also just loved being able to meet people from the fest. To learn their stories, what brought them to the fest, and also to meet a few filmmakers along the way!
The films I got to see in order:
#1 One Child Nation- Go to this film! It is amazing! It made me question so many things. To see how a government can create something, and allow propaganda to convince everyone that it is the right thing. So mind blowing! Also, I cried through basically the entire film. Such a tough thing to understand.
#2 Finding Frances- Hilarious! I loved this film for the way that it just brought out humor. I don't know that I have laughed that much in a long time. It was so fun! Not sure that everything in it was actually true, but isn't that the point of this film fest?
#3 Knock Down the House- This film was amazing. I loved watching the behind the scenes of AOC. To see her story unfold from the beginning was truly inspiring. We have a lot to do yet in this country, but this film gave me hope!
#4 Midnight Traveler- Everyone should see this film. To understand the inside story of a family that had no choice. To see the truth that not "everyone" from a middle eastern country is out to get Americans. I just loved the way that this story was written and how it allowed my eyes to be open to see people for who they are.
#5 Over the Rainbow- This film wasn't what I expected it to be, but it was still an interesting film to me. A film that did allow me a different view of Scientology, and some of the people that practice it. I am constantly stretched every time I watch a film like this. It makes me think outside of the box that I place people in that practice a certain religion. It made me want to do more research.
#6 A Wild Stream- This film had beautiful scenes in it, but that is about all that I got from it. I wasn't too impressed with it as there didn't seem to me to be a story.
#7 A bunch of weird shorts! I don't know that I understand shorts! I will keep trying though!
I love True/False! I love that filmmakers are brought in. I love that this year I got to stay for more of the Q & A's than I ever have before. I love how it makes me question and understand more about life and people.
Next year! Can't wait!
First of all being a Queen was by far one of the greatest experiences of my life. I think that it totally helped that my costume was on point. To be admired, and adored by people isn't the point of life, but it sure does help one to feel better about themselves. I also just loved being able to meet people from the fest. To learn their stories, what brought them to the fest, and also to meet a few filmmakers along the way!
The films I got to see in order:
#1 One Child Nation- Go to this film! It is amazing! It made me question so many things. To see how a government can create something, and allow propaganda to convince everyone that it is the right thing. So mind blowing! Also, I cried through basically the entire film. Such a tough thing to understand.
#2 Finding Frances- Hilarious! I loved this film for the way that it just brought out humor. I don't know that I have laughed that much in a long time. It was so fun! Not sure that everything in it was actually true, but isn't that the point of this film fest?
#3 Knock Down the House- This film was amazing. I loved watching the behind the scenes of AOC. To see her story unfold from the beginning was truly inspiring. We have a lot to do yet in this country, but this film gave me hope!
#4 Midnight Traveler- Everyone should see this film. To understand the inside story of a family that had no choice. To see the truth that not "everyone" from a middle eastern country is out to get Americans. I just loved the way that this story was written and how it allowed my eyes to be open to see people for who they are.
#5 Over the Rainbow- This film wasn't what I expected it to be, but it was still an interesting film to me. A film that did allow me a different view of Scientology, and some of the people that practice it. I am constantly stretched every time I watch a film like this. It makes me think outside of the box that I place people in that practice a certain religion. It made me want to do more research.
#6 A Wild Stream- This film had beautiful scenes in it, but that is about all that I got from it. I wasn't too impressed with it as there didn't seem to me to be a story.
#7 A bunch of weird shorts! I don't know that I understand shorts! I will keep trying though!
I love True/False! I love that filmmakers are brought in. I love that this year I got to stay for more of the Q & A's than I ever have before. I love how it makes me question and understand more about life and people.
Next year! Can't wait!
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
Lent 2019
It's hard for me to believe that it is that time of year again. This year I want to be very intentional with my Lent journey. Every year I typically give up social media. Although I still love social media, it isn't such a stronghold for me. Instead I find myself just wasting time on mindless things. So this year I am going to give up sugar, tv/movies and with that comes giving up alcohol. I know! It's about to get crazy! But I have been finding myself just exhausted lately. So I am going to give up sugar and replace it with only veggies, meat, and fruits. I am still attempting Keto, but for the next 40 weekdays starting Wednesday, March 6th I am going to try to only live by things grown in the ground, or from animals. I am going to spend the time I would normally spend mindlessly in front of a tv reading.
Here's to this journey! May it change me!
Here's to this journey! May it change me!
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Book #9.... Sisters First by Jenna Bush Hager and Barbara Pierce Bush
Somehow I have actually read 9 books instead of just 8 as I looked back through my list. So I am going to just get on track with this blog post! What a great book it was! I was crying and laughing at the Bush family antics. It gave me such a wonderful look into their family life. I think sometimes we get so stuck on political parties that we forget to see the people. We forget to open our heart to understand where they are coming from. I'm thankful for this family, and their story.
Some of my favorite quotes:
"I do appreciate the beauty in others, and every close friend of mine, from all over the world, began as a stranger, just as I began as a stranger to them- even if at the beginning they recognized my name." page 14
What a great thing to be able to say that you appreciate the beauty in others. From the moment I started reading this book, the Bush twins amazed me with their love for other people. I deeply connect with them on this. We are also about the same age, and so this book has so many similarities to my own childhood, it amazes me.
"As a professional wanderer, I've never wanted to accumulate many things." page 21
Yes! Yes to this so much!
"Rather he wanted to teach us that it was the family moments, the light moments, and the joyous moments, on which we should make our lasting moments." page 29
Sometimes we get so serious that I think we forget about just enjoying the small moments.
"In many ways, I was fortunate that it was the year of 2000. These were the last days of dry-erase message boards on dorm room doors, where people left notes when they were dropping by rather than sending texts from down the hall. There was no Facebook, no Twitter, whatever my friends might have thought or said when I wasn't around, I never saw them post anything." page 87
Those were the days! I am SO very glad that I went to college when I did. I am so very glad that my high school days did not have Facebook or Instagram. That my every fault wasn't captured on social media. I am so glad that I grew up in the days when life seemed a little more authentic and a lot less face-paced.
"It is a reminder that in any debate there are humans on all sides." page 136
Yes, this! We are all human. Even in disagreements, we are all humans. We all have to try to understand each other.
"In my work, I have been able to surround myself with caring humans, those who actively choose love for one another over division and fear. Today, they are the ones rewriting the rules and the myths of love." page 181
Let's all be humans that choose love over division and fear. There is so much fear driving this world. We think that we are better than others, we fear what others might bring into our lives, and we allow that to drive us into very dark places.
"I hoped I could help viewers to see that beyond any titles, there are real families and real people who live in this home called the White House." page 190
If I could choose one thing that this book among others has helped me to see, this quote is it. Real families, even the current one. Let's look beyond what we think of the people we encounter. Let's be authentic and love people no matter what!
Some of my favorite quotes:
"I do appreciate the beauty in others, and every close friend of mine, from all over the world, began as a stranger, just as I began as a stranger to them- even if at the beginning they recognized my name." page 14
What a great thing to be able to say that you appreciate the beauty in others. From the moment I started reading this book, the Bush twins amazed me with their love for other people. I deeply connect with them on this. We are also about the same age, and so this book has so many similarities to my own childhood, it amazes me.
"As a professional wanderer, I've never wanted to accumulate many things." page 21
Yes! Yes to this so much!
"Rather he wanted to teach us that it was the family moments, the light moments, and the joyous moments, on which we should make our lasting moments." page 29
Sometimes we get so serious that I think we forget about just enjoying the small moments.
"In many ways, I was fortunate that it was the year of 2000. These were the last days of dry-erase message boards on dorm room doors, where people left notes when they were dropping by rather than sending texts from down the hall. There was no Facebook, no Twitter, whatever my friends might have thought or said when I wasn't around, I never saw them post anything." page 87
Those were the days! I am SO very glad that I went to college when I did. I am so very glad that my high school days did not have Facebook or Instagram. That my every fault wasn't captured on social media. I am so glad that I grew up in the days when life seemed a little more authentic and a lot less face-paced.
"It is a reminder that in any debate there are humans on all sides." page 136
Yes, this! We are all human. Even in disagreements, we are all humans. We all have to try to understand each other.
"In my work, I have been able to surround myself with caring humans, those who actively choose love for one another over division and fear. Today, they are the ones rewriting the rules and the myths of love." page 181
Let's all be humans that choose love over division and fear. There is so much fear driving this world. We think that we are better than others, we fear what others might bring into our lives, and we allow that to drive us into very dark places.
"I hoped I could help viewers to see that beyond any titles, there are real families and real people who live in this home called the White House." page 190
If I could choose one thing that this book among others has helped me to see, this quote is it. Real families, even the current one. Let's look beyond what we think of the people we encounter. Let's be authentic and love people no matter what!
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