Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Writing....once a week for myself

Being a part of the A to Z challenge helped me realize that I need this outlet.  I need to be able to create writing that speaks to who I am and what I am going through right now at this point in my life.

In just a couple of weeks I will have finished my first year back in the states, and my first year ever to teach in the State of Missouri....in my hometown.  I have had other jobs here in this grand ole state, but not teaching.

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week, and it couldn't have come at a better time.  Last week about this time I was feeling pretty deflated.  A feeling that I have had much of the year.  There has just been so much hurt and pain from this year.  It is nothing that I can't handle, but it has truly rocked my world and made me reconsider a lot of choices.

I am committed though, to at least one more year.  I am committed to creating a science program that I can be proud of.  I am committed to whatever number of students I have next year and whatever that looks like for the future.

In order to make this decision I had to wrestle with a lot of feelings.  I had to break through the pain, anger, and darkness that was somehow covering me.  I had to look up and see that just above me was this amazingly beautiful blue sky.  I had to look up.

I am choosing to come back to a job that was full of pain this year.  I am choosing to take the high road even though I have been flipped off, cussed at, gossiped about, and judged.  I am choosing these things because I know that I need to be here.  I know that I need to give this place and these people one more chance.  I know that I need to let LOVE be redeemed.

I don't continue this journey without knowing that the road ahead is going to be tough.  There are going to be days that I want to give up.  There are going to be days that I will allow the doubt to creep in, but there are also going to be days when the clouds are peeking through the sky.  There are going to be days when I look down and see the flowers, and know that the path that is before me will lead to greater things.

I know that I am in this city, for this time.  I know that I have no idea what is going to happen in the next few weeks, months, or years, but I know that my journey is this.  My journey might be messy, might be weird, might be random....but it will be so good.  

Monday, May 4, 2015

Reflection on A to Z: Authentically Amazing!

I had a wonderful time participating for my first year of A to Z!  It was so much fun to read comments from others, and see the numbers go up on my little visitor graph.  I know what it is all about for next year and feel confident that I will participate again. 

I truly enjoyed being able to  read all the blogs.  Some of the ideas were so fun!  I also really liked being able to think outside of myself a little bit.  It stretched me, especially those last few letters. 

Blogging for 26 days helped me to see that I can blog once a week now without any trouble. 

Really appreciate this challenge! 

Thanks to the hosts!  You all are awesome!!!